HOW TO LOVE LIKE JESUS - Dear Empath.

DEAR EMPATHETIC CHRISTIAN,

How to love like Jesus?
Is it possible? How can we do it? 

Let's start with debunking one important myth 

There is a misconception that loving like Jesus means you are a weak wimp, a doormat tossed to and fro, you say "yes" to everything in an attempt to please people or make everyone happy and loved. Some people believe that loving like Jesus means we have to deny ourselves everything, miss out on all the fun, and smother our joy. But that’s not true.

Dear friend, i want you to know that there is a difference between loving and serving, I think we have been called to lovingly serve others, and not Carter to desires that might be detrimental for both you and the people God called you to.

So yes loving like Jesus means dying to self, but it doesn't mean not genuinely serving and loving others how Jesus clearly modelled, Jesus had boundaries, he selflessly loved his friends and family but never failed to tell them when their actions were not of the lord, he said "no" to sin, he didn't agree with just anything, he didn't hang out with just everyone, he was focused on God and his mission, he gave up his life for us sacrificially.

As you all know I have the habit of asking myself a lot of questions, when am in a hard season, I would ask, Courage are you suffering well?
And this question Is not to glorify the hard seasons, but it is to keep me aware of the times and seasons and if I am learning what I need to in that season, you don't want to keep going around in circles right friend.

So for sometime now I have had the question of - Courage are you loving well?
For 2 reasons mainly; 

1. Over the last couple of years,  I learnt what boundaries are as a person through some very hard-hard mediums actually, and this is not what i wish for anyone reading this, i sometimes wish i knew what healthy boundaries were as a teen leading up to my early adult years but like i always say "EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A DIVINE GOD REASON" i wouldn't be half of the person i am today if i didn't go through all i did.

2. I started to set healthy and Godly boundaries with myself and everyone in my life. Before I did number (2), I can't even recall how many months it took for me to study, research, pray, cry, sob and just the number of #sermons and podcast I listened with regards to this topic and with on the millions of questions I had with regards to "how can i love like Jesus and still live peaceably"
I doubted my God heart, if am really a Christian why am I saying no?, is God okay with this no?, Is he angry that I can't be a certain person to some people anymore?, is he okay that am tired and just wanna stay still sometimes?, is he okay with me not solving anyone's problem anymore?, is he okay with me doing just this little?...... and this list is endless 

There is something my counsellor said to me when I would say this million questions, Courage you care so much about God huh, I hear him in every one of these questions and that's good, your heart is after pleasing God when it comes to "LOVE"

What is love according to the bible, here are a few verses :

• John 3:16 (KJV) For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
• Mark 12:31 (KJV) And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these
  
• 1 Corinthians 16:14 WEB) Let all that you do be done in love.
• Ephesians 4:32 (WEB) And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.
• ohn 13:34-35 (KJV) A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
•  Matthew 22:37-39 (KJV) Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
• 1 Corinthians 13:13 (WEB) But now faith, hope, and love remain—these three. The greatest of these is love.
• 1 John 4:20 (KJV) If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
• Luke 6:35 (KJV) But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
• Colossians 3:14 (WEB) Above all these things, walk in love, which is the bond of perfection.
  

As a Christ follower we all are after God's heart originally, we want the "well done good and faithful servant" statement, we all primarily want to please God, not man , and to do what pleases him , you originally want to do his word and live like Jesus did cos hey that's what the bible says

So my friend before I give you the 5 ways to truly love like Jesus and not just doing people pleasing acts of love;

I will tell you this especially in this day and age of people using the " how can you be a Christian's and say no" to guilt trip Christian's into doing stuff for them,

Though our faith is defined by giving, there are times where it can be seriously harmful to us and the person asking.  In some situations, the worst thing we can do is to say “Yes”.  It comes down to what our actual mission is as Christians.  Is it just to give to people?  Or is it to serve Jesus?  Answering this question clears up much of the confusion.

5 actionable ways to love like Jesus 

To love like Jesus, we must:

• Be mindful. We need to connect more deeply with our lives and the people in them, rather than living a detached, disconnected existence.
  
• Be approachable. It’s important for people to feel safe approaching us; in other words, we must become less exclusive in our interactions with others and more welcoming to those who seek us out.
• Be full of grace. We must be willing to relate to others in a less judgmental way.
• Be bold. We have to shed our fears, “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7, ESV).
• Be self-giving. We need to become less self-absorbed and more invested in those around us.

This are some very practical ways to love, have balance and show Jesus.